


Anthology Of "We"

by visionsoftokyo



Category: Cobra Starship, this is ivy league
Genre: M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Questioning Sexuality, Ravioli, Sexuality Crisis, Unrequited Love, everyone's scared of Alex's gf, fleetwood mac gets mentioned a lot probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-10-01 02:02:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17235245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/visionsoftokyo/pseuds/visionsoftokyo
Summary: When Alex and Ryland cross paths after four years, some long-repressed feelings start to creep to the surface once again.





	1. The Richest Kids

Ryland was not usually the type to go out in search of a very specific goat cheese. Naturally, this is why Claire had sent him after it.  
“Try new things,” she’d said.  
He didn’t want to try new things, he was tired of new thing, and now he wanted the new things to be new, old things. He was happy, no longer in Florida, the old old place, and now in New York, the new old place, he had room to breathe. The only old old things he cared to keep were music and acting. And his family, of course.  
He was muttering these things to himself, probably sounding like he’d lost his marbles, when some _asshole _who couldn’t watch where he was going bumped into him._  
“Hey, wa- _Ryland _?”___  
“Alex?”  
“Shit, man, I haven’t seen you in forever!”  
“I- Yeah, it’s been, what, two, three years?”  
“Four. Geez, what’re you doing in New York?”  
“I could ask you the same. Acting. Or, trying, rather. Y’know how it is. What about you?”  
“Culinary school,” he said, smiling proudly. “I’ve always wanted to be a chef.”  
“Trust me, I know,” Ryland mumbled, remembering the many things Alex had tried to feed him during their middle and high school years. And the cases of food poisoning that sometimes followed.  
“Don’t worry, no one’s gotten sick yet. I’ve actually become a bit of a teacher’s pet.”  
Ryland chuckled. “I’m sure. Hey, it was nice seeing you again, we should get lunch sometime.”  
“We should. Catch up and all that.”  
They exchanged numbers, planning to meet up in a week or so.


	2. Love Is Impossible

Alex stared sadly into his coffee. Saturdays were usually the days he spent with Rose, curled up on the sofa, reading. She was none too happy about him going for lunch with Ryland.  
“It’s not too late to call and cancel,” she mused, leaning her head on his shoulder.  
“I haven’t seen him in a long time, and he was my best friend. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”  
She sighed, entwining their fingers, ballet pink stiletto nails digging into his palm. “Alright.”  
It shocked him sometimes, how much malice she could pack into one word.  
*  
There was Ryland. Standing at the door of a hole-in-the-wall diner, smiling at what the girl with him had said.  
“Come on, they’re already here,” Alex said, gently tugging Rose forward.  
She huffed, trotting along after him.  
“Ry!”  
Ryland turned, startled. “Hey, ‘Lex. Uh, Claire, this is Alex, Alex, this is Claire. She makes sure I don’t forget to eat and stuff.”  
“I’m not his girlfriend.”  
“Nice to meet you. Um, Rose, this is Ryland. Ry, this is Rose.”  
“I _am _his girlfriend.”  
Claire raised her eyebrows, but didn’t say anything.  
“Shall we?” Ryland motioned toward the door.  
“I guess we shall,” Alex replied, not missing a beat.  
*  
“You were flirting with her!”  
“Rose, I-”  
“I’ve been cheated on before Alex, I know the warning signs.”  
He stared at her, shocked. He would never cheat on her. He cared about her, surely she had to know that.  
“Rose, please. You know I would never do that. You know that I-”  
“That you care. Yes. Oh, yes, I know all about how much you care. That’s what you always say, isn’t it? ‘I care about you, blah blah blah.’” She shook her head, blonde ponytail swishing. “But you don’t _love _me.”  
And with that, she stormed out of the apartment, leaving Alex standing alone in the far too pristine living room.  
Slowly, he sank into the couch, drawing his knees up to his chest. Deep down, he knew it was probably true. Deep down, he knew he didn’t like girls. But he would never admit it to himself, he knew how let down his family would be. For the first time in a long time, he let himself cry. Then he made ravioli and listened to Rumors, because that makes everything feel better.____


	3. London Bridges

Ryland was beginning to grow concerned. He hadn't heard from Alex since the day they'd gotten lunch, and they'd promised to hang out more.

Finally, Claire seemed fed up with his nervous pacing and constant checking of his phone.

“What's got your nuts tied in a knot?”

“I wish you would find another phrase.”

She raised an eyebrow and continued. “Something's got you upset. Come on now, out with it!”

“It's Alex.”

“Finally realizing that you're madly in love with him?”

“Wh- No! I've known that for a long time, thank you very much. Not that it matters.”

Claire wrinkled her nose. “You mean his girlfriend. I'm not too fond of her either. Bad vibes.”

Ryland nodded. “It's not that, though. We promised we'd talk, but he hasn't even answered when I called.”

“Maybe it's Rose? Maybe she doesn't like you or something.”

“Well then, the feeling is mutual,” he mumbled, burying his face in his arms.  
***  
“Rose, please just tell me what’s wrong.”

“Like you don’t know.”

“Rose-”

“No! You don’t care about me! You never have and you never will. Just shut up. Ugh. Why do I even put up with you?”

“I ask myself the same question,” Alex mumbled under his breath.

“Ugh! I can’t believe you. You ought to show me some respect!” She punctuated her screaming with a harsh slap.

Alex stumbled back, unsure what to do.

“Get. Out,” Rose snarled, storming off.

Alex, not knowing what else to do, called Ryland.


	4. Viola

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey its me the author. just wanted to say i'm sorry that the last chapter was Like That™ and that this one is just plain bad but ive been goin thru some Shit™ lately and I missed my meds a few times so ive been kinda emotionally and mentally out of whack for a bit

Ryland and Claire had immediately taken Alex in, and Claire had given him a serious talking-to about toxic and abusive relationships.

Ryland had also begun dating a very sweet girl named Viola. It was easy to see why Ryland liked her, she was kind and confident and most definitely refused to be talked down to. Ryland really deserved someone as wonderful as her.

Alex was happy for them, of course, but he was also a bit jealous. He wouldn’t admit that it was Viola _specifically_ that he was jealous of, but then, maybe he didn’t realize.

As it was, she fit perfectly into the group. Most evenings, when everyone had returned to the apartment after work and pursuing a higher education, Viola came over, along with Claire’s girlfriend, Anne. They’d all cuddle up on the couch with their significant others, except for Alex, who sat in the recliner, wrapped in an old quilt his grandmother had made him. After a movie or dinner, when everyone went home or to bed, Alex migrated to the couch, which folded out into a bed. This went on for several weeks before Ryland sat Alex down one day, looking absolutely terrified.

“I think I’m gonna break up with Vi.”

“What? Why? You two are perfect for eachother, and you’re so happy together.”

“Yeah, but… There was this thing that my mom used to say. Apparently, she knew that Dad was _the one_ because when he’d hold her hand, their fingers fit perfectly together.”

“So, she’s got skinny fingers. What does that have to do with it?”

“It’s a metaphor, dumbass. We’re, like, almost perfect. It’s like when you find a pair of shoes that you really like, but the sizes run a little small, and the biggest size they make is just a little too small. You don’t wanna get stuck with shoes that don’t fit, no matter how much you like them, and no matter how much they _almost_ fit.”

“I guess I get that. But, do all of us a favor? Wait a bit. Spend some quality one-on-one time with her, and then think it over, okay?”

“Okay. I think you’ve finally developed the ability to give good advice.”

“Now if I wasn’t scared of the dark,” Alex chuckled as the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it.”

Ryland nodded, but, being the ever-nosy friend followed him. He wound up being very glad he did.

“Rose? What are you doing here?”

“Alex, I’m sorry. I never should have acted that way.” She had tears streaming down her face.

“You’re right about that,” Ryland quipped.

Rose shot him a glare, but her expression instantly softened. “But… But that doesn’t matter now. Alex, I don’t know how to say this, but, well. I’m pregnant.”


	5. Celebration/A Summer Chill

“You- You’re… What?”  
“I’m pregnant, Alex. My parents are furious and I didn’t know who else to go to, besides the father.” She looked up at him through her lashed.  
“I… We need to talk. Um, come in,” Alex said, motioning for her to sit on the couch.  
Ryland lurked in the kitchen while they talked.  
It was decided that Alex would move back in with Rose (the apartment _was_ in his name, after all). Ryland wanted so badly to protest, but decided to give Rose the benefit of the doubt.  
He should not have given her the benefit of the doubt.  
***  
Alex was planning a cheesey, romantic dinner, which was why he was about two hours late getting home. There’d been a lot of grocery shopping to do.  
There was nothing, in his mind, that could ruin this evening.  
Upon opening the door, however, he discovered that he should have known better.  
Rose was on the couch, cuddled up to some guy Alex had never met before, laughing about something he’d said.  
“Ro?”  
“Alex! Wh-what are you- I can explain, I-”  
He shook his head. “I thought we were good. I thought…”  
“I suppose that this would be a good time to tell you that it isn’t your baby?”  
Alex took a deep breath. “I suppose you should have mentioned that when you came knocking on my door sobbing about how your parents were going to disown you.”  
“Hey, uh, anyone wanna fill me in on what’s going on here?”  
“Shut up, Harvey,” Rose said, glaring at her cuddle buddy.  
“So. How long have you two…” he gestured vaguely at them.  
“Three years,” Rose said, rolling her eyes as if it were obvious.  
“One year less than we were together.”  
“Oh, shut up, Alex. You should have expected this. Don’t think I don’t know your little secret, you talk in your sleep. I felt bad for you, that’s why I put up with you.”  
It was at this point that Alex went to the bedroom, shoved his things in a bag, and walked, in the rain, back to Ryland and Claire’s. He still had his grocery bags.  
As soon as he saw Ryland, he broke down. He’d never been one to cry, but now he couldn’t help in. Ryland pulled him inside and the whole story came pouring out. Ryland just sat and listened, and when everything had been said, he very gently took Alex’s hands in his.  
Alex looked up, not sure what to expect.  
“It’s gonna be okay, bud. It’s gonna be okay.”


	6. Modern World/Til the Day

Ryland sat next To Alex on the couch. “Whatcha writing?”  
Alex glanced up. “A song.”  
“Obviously.”  
“It’s about Rose.”  
“Lex, come on. That’s really melodramatic. And you did kind of lie to her.”  
“Because it was something I couldn’t admit to myself.”  
“I know, and obviously there’s no excuse for what she did to you. But it’s still unhealthy to keep thinking about it. You’ve gotta move on.”  
“I know, and I know that I… I never really loved her, but I was…”  
“Emotionally invested?”  
“Hmm. Yeah.”  
“Well, maybe it’s time you find something else to be emotionally invested in?”  
Alex glared at him. “Why don’t you just buzz off. I’m trying to work out my emotions, like Claire said.”  
“Look, it’s good that you’re trying to get through it, but you’re brooding! Come on man, you’ve gotta get out of the house, you can’t just keep sitting here in the dark, ruining your eyesight, might I add.”  
Alex glared.  
“Come on, let’s go see a movie or something. We’ll do something fun and it’ll take your mind off her for a while.”  
“Just leave me alone! Ugh, you sound like you’re asking me out. I just. I need some time, okay? Is that so difficult to understand?”  
Ryland was taken aback. “Oh, uh. Yeah, um, sorry, I was, uh, I was just trying to help. I’ll, uh, leave you to it. I guess.” He stood slowly and meandered to his room, Alex staring little lasers into his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeet *dab*


	7. Visions of Tokyo

Ryland stared at the wall, unable to sleep. He’d never intended to make Alex so upset, but he supposed he should have just let it go. Alex always got attached to people.  
He thought back to when they were in high school. There had been an exchange student who they’d become friends with. Ryland couldn’t remember where he was from (France? Finland?), but he knew Alex had been quite sad when the guy had to go back home. Ryland had had to drag him out of his room (per Alex’s mother’s request) and force him to go outside. Ryland really wasn’t sure how he’d managed to survive moving to New York.  
As Ryland continued to reminisce with himself, the scent of pancakes wafted into his room, along with the very familiar sound of Alex humming along to Fleetwood Mac.  
After a bit, there was a knock on the door.  
Before Ryland could answer, however, the door was thrown open and Alex was suddenly sat next to Ryland, two plates of blueberry pancakes in hand.  
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten so mad, you were just trying to help.”  
“I’m sorry, too. I know how you deal with stuff like this, but I was just worried, you know?”  
“It’s okay.” Alex smiled a bit, pushing one of the plates toward Ryland.  
“These aren’t poisoned, are they?”  
“Not to my knowledge, and I don’t think anyone broke in and laced them.”  
“Okay,” Ryland said suspiciously, picking up the plate.  
“Well?”  
“I’m going to take you to Canada and marry you right now, holy fuck.”  
Alex chuckled. “That good, huh?”  
“Mm-hmm.”  
“Good.”  
“Alex, I, uh, I want you to know that I’m okay with you being gay. I mean, I’d be kind of a hypocrite if I wasn’t, but. Y’know.”  
“I figured you’d be cool with it. What with Claire being a lesbian and all.”  
“Well, that and the fact that I’m bisexual.”  
“What?”  
“I’m bisexual. It, um, it basically means that I like guys and girls.”  
“Oh my gosh. You mean that’s an option? There’s a word for that? I thought I was just crazy or something. I thought I was just…”  
“Gay and confused?”  
“Yeah, I guess.”  
“I kinda felt like that a long time ago, Claire helped me figure it out.”  
Alex let out a long sigh. He finally had a word for the way he felt, it was like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.  
Ryland fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. “I need to tell you something. I should have told you a long time ago, but I thought you’d be mad at me or that you’d think I was creepy or something-”  
“I’d never think that. You’re my best friend.”  
“I know.” Ryland sighed, squeezing his eyes shut. “Okay. Here goes nothing. I’ve had… _feelings_ for you since, well, since we were in school. After we graduated, I thought I’d gotten over it, but when we, well, ran into each other, I started to realize I hadn’t. I refused to admit it for a long time, but…” He waited for Alex to get up and leave, or spit some comment about him being a creep, but neither came.  
“I… Hey, it’s okay, I… Honestly, I’ve felt the same way about you for a while now.”  
Ryland glanced at Alex. His face was genuine.  
“Really?”  
Alex smiled. “Yes, really.”  
It was Ryland’s turn to sigh in relief. “Can I hug you?”  
Alex chuckled. “Always,” he said, leaning into Ryland.  
“Hey, Lex?”  
“Hmm?”  
“I love you, man.”  
“Real fuckin romantic,” Alex said. “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The last chapter! Though, there might be some sort of sequel eventually. Thanks for reading <3


End file.
